Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you're young at heart
For it's hard, you will find
To be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart
You can go to extremes
With impossible schemes
You can laugh when your dreams
Fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting with each passing day
And love is either in your heart
Or on its way
Don't you know that it's worth
Every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are
It's much better by far
To be young at heart
And if you should survive
To a hundred and five
Look at all you'll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart
'One! Two!
'Three! Four! '
'One! Two! Three! Four!
'Five! Six!
'Seven! Eight!
'Nine! Ten! '
Quarter?
Next week I'll take the black corner.
- Here's your crackers, Aunt Jessie. - Thank you.
- Oh, who won the fight? - Good night, Laurie.
Good night, Laurie.
Night, Pop. Good night, Aunt Jessie.
- Care to join me? - No. When are you gonna stop eating?
- I'm hungry. - Still?
It's very bad for you to eat just before you go to bed.
- I know. - Oh, what have you got here?
Chicken, huh? Mmm.
Fran and the White Knight. They're home early.
Good night.
Good night, Bob.
- Wonder why. - I don't know.
One thing I love about Bob Neary, he's such a gentleman.
I love the way he jumps out of the car and holds the door open for her.
Amy! Laurie!
Aunt Jessie. Pop.
- Well, it happened tonight. - What?
- We're engaged! - Huh?
- It's the biggest! - What's going on?
- Meet the future Mrs Robert Neary. - The what?
- I'm engaged. - You're engaged?
- Seven dates. - Let me see.
The biggest, most vulgar diamond. 100 carats at least.
- Oh, at least. - Tell us exactly what happened.
I guess I was just looking my most beautiful,
what with Laurie's dress and Amy's brooch.
I could see he was... Well, it was my idea to go out on the terrace during the dance.
"Fran," he said, "all I am, all I ever hope to be..."
Then he just stood there and looked...
and looked...
Well, he looked a little fat.
Well, he is fat.
- Oh, Fran. - This is wonderful!
So he is a little fat - who cares?
Don't say that! Let me see your ring.
- Isn't that something? - It's the biggest thing I've ever seen.
- What's the matter, Pop? - Nothing.
- You are happy, aren't you? - I am if you are.
- Of course I am. - Naturally, she's happy.
I think he's the biggest real estate operator in Connecticut, he's rebuilt half this town.
And he's coming to dinner tomorrow.
- When's the wedding, Fran? - Oh... June, I guess.
- There goes our quartet. - Unless Jessie takes up the harp.
This is your sister, your tin-ear sister, remember?
You'll have to get another harp player.
- It doesn't have to be a fancy dinner. - I know.
Just the best linen, the best silver...
That must be Bob. I'll get it.
Oh, and it has to be duck tomorrow night. He loves duck.
Oh, Bob?
Oh, just wonderfully. Everybody's so excited.
Yes, everybody.
Well, a little envious, naturally.
Girls, up, up.
What can I say? Except you've made me the happiest...
Oh, don't be foolish. I'll go on the diet with you.
- Amy? - Mm?
Do you think she really loves him?
She's gonna marry him.
Oh, I know but they've only had seven dates.
It can happen.
It can happen the first time you see someone.
I know they write it and sing about it and all that stuff
but don't tell me you buy it.
You're young, you can afford to be cynical. Wait till you're my age, you'll turn romantic.
That's a nice thing to say after I practically brought you up.
Didn't I have the measles the same time you did, out of sheer companionship?
You character! You gave them to me.
I shared them.
There's a difference.
Well... Anyway, I kind of envy Fran, even if she has talked herself into it.
It's gotta be a good feeling.
- What do you say we make a deal? - Hmm?
- Double or nothing. - Double what?
Double wedding.
We find two guys with a good sense of humour.
That always helps.
That's one thing I've gotta have when I get married - lots of laughs.
That's the trouble with most of the marriages I've seen, Amy.
Not enough laughs.
Or?
Oh. Or we end up old maids on the hill, you and me.
Deal?
I asked you a question. Is it a deal?
I don't know.
- Hey, wait a minute. - What?
- You're not holding out on me, are you? - Oh, now, really.
Sure?
You know there isn't anyone.
Unless it's Ernie, the romantic plumber.
Oh. Poor Ernie.
- You know something? - What?
I like him. I think he's very sweet.
Well, he is.
Isn't fair to call him a plumber either.
- What would you call him? - He's the boss.
He doesn't go out on jobs any more since he owns the store.
Only reason he comes here to fix things is because of you, and you know it.
Like sinks and things.
He's on the disposal now. He's been working on it six weeks, it isn't fixed yet.
I wonder why.
Ah, well.
Ernie notwithstanding,
after looking this town over I'd say the Tuttle family were sure of one old maid.
Two. We made a deal, remember?
Can't you just hear people saying, "My, my, there go the Tuttle girls now,
"couple of Whistler's Mothers.
"Been together nigh on 60 years now."
- Good night, Laurie. - Night.
Would you mind leaving the door open, please?
Thanks.
The night is dressed up for dreaming
And on the meadows below
A star falls out of the heavens
And fades
In the afterglow
The wind embraces the willow
The ivy clings to the tree
My arms are waiting to hold my love
Wherever my lover may be
And so I'll walk in the moonlight...
Awful pretty music.
Awful pretty.
Fix the sink.
Yes'm.
Well.
- That was lovely, really lovely. - Thank you, Pop.
I have one criticism, however.
Oh, naturally.
If you would just look at the conductor once in a while.
Like this, Pop?
An orchestra, no matter how small, should have only once voice!
- The conductor's. - Right.
You idiots. You're all idiots.
How three such beautiful girls can make three such horrible sounds.
- Now, your blood pressure. - It's my blood pressure.
- You're my sister, not my doctor. - Sure.
Amy, you're wanted in the kitchen. He won't leave until you're satisfied with his work.
- Thank you. - That Ernie!
- I've got to get to work. - Goodbye, sweetie.
- Where's my hat? - In the hall.
- Goodbye, Pop. - Where are you going?
- Upstairs to get beautiful for tonight. - It'll take seven hours?
Face it, Pop, with what you gave me to start with, it'll take all of seven hours.
Where's my briefcase? I left it right here.
You left it upstairs. I'll get it.
I could've sworn I left it on that chair.
Oh, thanks.
What do you expect? Brahms?
That's as quiet as I can get it.
- I'll replace it if you like. - No, it's much better, honestly it is.
Thanks.
Look at you. And look at those hands.
Oh, well...
You shouldn't go out on jobs with a shirt and tie and all.
You have men in overalls and you pay them.
I don't go out on jobs any more, Amy.
Just this one, cos it's on the way to work and... cos...
I know. Well, you'd better wash up now.
If you're gonna sell any of those nice white refrigerators you'd better look the part.
Not there.
- Upstairs. - Sure.
- Ernie. - Huh?
Take your coat off before you wash your hands.
Oh. Yeah.
- Hurry up, Laurie. - Hello, Mr Tuttle.
- Just going upstairs to wash my hands. - That's good.
- Thanks. - I'll walk with you.
Good. Bye, Jess.
Hi, Mr Tuttle!
- Laurie, Laurie, it's happened! - Is it Ladybird?
- Yeah, she's having pups. Seven already! - You go ahead.
Mothers are more important than fathers.
- Hi! - Get back! Hurry up!
It's just like you said, Laurie - right on the front lawn. No dignity!
- Are there really seven? - Eight!
- Eight? - Correction - nine.
Oh, he's so little.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Number nine. The last, and the runt. - Oh, that's awful.
Yep, life begins in frustration.
- Well, Mrs Ridgefield, congratulations. - Thank you.
- I just can't thank you enough. - Don't mention it.
- Your problems are just beginning. - What?
- One too many came to dinner. - Oh, I see.
Oh, dear. Well, what'll I do?
- Bottle-feed him. - Me? I'm a busy housewife.
- I've got a large house to run... - Bottle-feed him or you can drown him.
- Drown him? - Easy, easy, you're a latecomer.
Call yourself a vet? You're supposed to save lives, not destroy them.
I'm not a vet.
- Bottle-feed him or drown him. - Please let me take him, Mrs Ridgefield.
I always wanted you to have the best in the litter, Laurie, and he is the littlest.
- No, I want him, number nine. - He's yours.
Well, that's settled. Oh, Miss um...
- Tuttle. - You'll bottle-feed him, huh?
- I'll bottle-feed him. - Good.
Hey, that's not old Gregory Tuttle's daughter?
Yes, she is, she lives right next door.
I don't know how to thank you.
Don't mention it. Call me any time you have a litter.
Well, I will. Thank you!
- Cute little puppy, isn't he? - I like him.
Oh, wait a minute, you don't think I was serious?
Do I look like I'd want to drown a puppy?
Well, do I?
- Not really. - Shake.
- I'm an old friend of the family. - You?
- Yeah. - I never saw you before in my life.
Well, my father went to school with your father.
- He did? - Yeah. My name's Burke, Alex Burke.
Oh. My name is Tuttle, Laurie Tuttle.
Hiya, Tuttle.
- Hiya, Burke. - Hi.
Um, in this pocket I have a letter to your father. Is he home?
Just missed him, he's on his way to the music foundation.
- He's the dean of faculty there. - Wonderful.
I also have a letter to the president of the foundation. How do I get there?
Two blocks east of Lamont and there you are.
- The foundation? - No, the traffic booth.
- Thanks. - Only kidding.
The policeman there will tell you the rest of the way.
By the way, what are you having for dinner tonight?
Um, roast duck. Why?
Duck? Wonderful, it's my favourite.
You know something, what with the pups and dinner tonight,
this is about the third happiest day of my life.
But nobody asked you to dinner.
Your father will. I'll see to it.
Those bottle feedings - for the first six weeks, two every night at 2am and 6am.
I'll see you.
Oh, don't set an extra place, don't bother.
- He won't even be here. - You wanna bet?
He has a letter for Pop, that doesn't mean he'll be invited to dinner.
Not only will he come to dinner but he'll tell us where to sit.
And he'll do the carving, and dominate the conversation completely.
And I'll bet you he has two desserts.
- Oh, Laurie. - My impression of Mr Burke.
- Sounds like a vacuum cleaner salesman. - Foot in the door type.
You girls will have to share him because I'll be devoting my charms to Bob.
Laurie, here comes Pop.
- And alone. - I don't believe it.
Well, I'll be...
Girls...
Mr Burke.
- What are you looking for? - Paper.
The boy generally tries to lose it in this bush.
- There you are. - Thanks.
- How are they doing? - Fine. In great voice.
Mrs Ridgefield's got a sleepless night ahead.
Dogs... Bah! If they keep me awake, it's your fault.
They will. They're not only loud, they're off pitch, like German opera.
Your father was a great man and a great musician.
What would he say if he knew you had midwifed a litter of pups
and, worse yet, disparaged Wagner?
My father taught me to love dogs and Mozart.
- Maybe not in that order. - Bah!
Mr Tuttle, I don't understand your affection for that word.
Bah!
- Let me have your hat. - Thanks.
Oh, I don't...
Something's wrong here.
- Pa! - How wonderful to see you.
Did you have a nice day?
- Hello, Pop. - Hello, darling.
Nice day at the conservatory?
Hiya, Burke.
Hiya, Tuttle.
Well, did I exaggerate?
No, they're pretty. All very pretty.
- Oh, thank you. - Pop, won't you introduce us?
I'm sorry! Girls, this is Alex Burke.
He's full of opinions, one of which is that he can write good music on a time schedule.
He's opinionated, he's conceited, he's arrogant and disrespectful.
- But I like him. - Thanks.
How about that big build-up you were gonna give me?
- I changed my mind. - Oh?
Aren't you gonna mention my talents? We talked about it.
They only have to look at you to see that you have no talent.
I'm Fran and you look talented, whatever you do.
- Thank you. I compose. - I'm Amy, what do you compose?
- Anything and everything. - Trash.
Ignore him. I've given up tone poems to work on a musical for the theatre.
- In New York? - For next season?
New York. Whether it gets on next season depends on the efficiency of the producer.
He's given me a generous advance
in return for which I shall deliver a complete and delightful score
at 9am, September 1.
- You hope. - I hope. Date of production is his problem.
- Evening. - Hello. May I, er, help you?
- Oh, thanks. - It's a pleasure.
- I thought you said you had three daughters. - He has.
This is Alex Burke, son of my old friend. Aunt Jessie.
Happy to know you, Aunt Jessie. After all, a lot depends on you.
Let's put it this way, a lot depends on your dinner tonight.
What?
All the way home, I've been toying with your brother's invitation
of board and room with this happy family.
- What? - Don't get too enthusiastic.
It's not decided yet.
As a musician, I don't care where I sleep -
attic, park bench - but about cuisine I'm a stickler.
Just a moment. You all know the president of the foundation.
- Tough customer, right? Cold-blooded. - Ice water in his veins.
This young man talked him into giving him a job at the foundation,
the argument being, he needed the income to work on this Broadway opera.
What's more, he did it in just seven minutes.
Correction - ten minutes, I timed it.
But that included the introductions and the goodbyes.
What do you want me to do? After all, I have some affection for his father.
Um, somebody else expected?
- Yeah, Bob Neary. - Oh, Bob Neary. Good.
Fran.
Bob.
Oh! Excuse me!
- Well, hello, Bob. - Hello, Fran.
I drove around the block, didn't want to be early.
You're just in time.
Well! Hi, everybody!
- Hi, Bob. - Amy, Laurie, Jessie.
- Hi, Bob. Alex Burke. - Nice to know you.
- Flowers! For Aunt Jessie, no doubt. - Er...
- There you are. - Thank you. Thank you, Bob.
We might as well sit down, we're all hungry.
Roast duck tonight. Why don't you and Fran sit over there?
- Pop... - I know where I sit.
Amy, you sit here. Laurie, you're over here.
I'm in between. I'll get those, Aunt Jessie.
Thank you.
- May we start? - Oh, sure.
Thank you.
Mmm. Aunt Jessie...
Come on, boy!
Come on! Number nine!
Here's what I call a clam!
Oh!
Come on, boy.
That's a boy, come on, come on.
There we go. That's a good boy.
That's enough exercise for one day.
You just sit here with me for a while and we'll read.
Boy, that water sure is good.
- Is that Alex's sweater? - Uh-huh.
- What's that? - It's an A for Alex.
- No, I don't mean this. What's this? - Oh, notes, musical notes.
- Oh. Kinda like a monogram, huh? - That's right.
I got a sweater at home, Amy, but it's not white.
- Would you like a monogram on it? - I sure would. Would you, Amy?
Sure. What'll we use instead of notes?
Oh, yeah. What could we use?
Monkey wrench!
- Plunger! - Oh, Ernie!
Well, I'll think about it awhile.
You call that music? Turn the thing off.
- It's a hit song, Pop. - Bah.
- Wanna hear the words? - No.
Good.
I'm ready, willing and able
And honey, now it's up to you
So lay your cards on the table
And tell me what you plan to do
I'm ready, I'm able and willing
To join you in a little fun
But I won't take second billing
I've got to be your number one
I'm ready to give you my heart, dear
I'm willing to hand you the key
And I'm able to say from the start, dear
It's never belonged to anyone else but me!
Oh, I'm ready, I'm willing and able
So if you want a love that's true
Just lay your cards on the table
Cos honey, now it's up to you
Check the chow.
I'm ready
Oh, yes, you know I'm ready, baby
I'm willing
Oh, yes, you know I'm willing, baby
I'm able
Oh, yes, you know I'm able, baby
Now I've stated my condition I've got lots of ammunition
Ready, willing and I'm able
So if you want a love that's true
Just lay your cards on the table
Cos honey
Honey, now it's up to you
Where've you been?
I had to go half a mile to find some dry wood.
- Aren't you tired? - I'm bushed.
Alex, it's finished!
That's fast work. Let's have a look at it.
- That's what I call a good job. - Thank you.
Amy, from now on, you do all my sewing.
Any time.
Right.
How do you like it, Aunt Jessie?
It's beautiful. If you kids want dinner, you'd better get more clams.
More clams coming up. What about it, Tuttle?
I'm with you, Burke!
Hey, you two are supposed to be digging! I want elbows and bottoms. Dig!
Come on, Burke. Wanna race to the far rock?
- Let's go. - On your mark, get set...
Hold this, will ya? Go!
You know, I wonder why somebody hasn't thought about it before.
- What? - About buying this strip of beach,
tearing down those bungalows and putting up a whole string of hotels.
- Oh, Bob! - It's not a bad idea.
That's what they got in Miami.
Whoever heard of beach hotels in Connecticut?
That's why it's a good idea.
If I could buy it in your name, it'd be a better idea.
Fran, I'd consider it, if you'd only set a date for our wedding.
We've only got a couple more weeks. You can still become a June bride.
Let me have the summer, Bob. We'll talk about it in the fall, huh?
OK, honey.
How would you like a big drink of water?
- Think you're big enough? - I'm big enough.
Put me down! I'll make a deal with you.
If you can dig more clams than I can in ten minutes you can throw me in. OK?
It's a deal.
One.
Two.
Three, four.
- And five. - I give up.
- City boy! - You win.
Course I won. Six.
- Laurie. - What?
There's something I'd like to say to you.
Is it about clams?
- Huh? - No.
Yeah.
There's the male clam and the female clam.
No! I always thought...
Yep. This is the male clam.
A female clam is any clam you find with its mouth open.
- You know, yak-yak-yak-yak... - Oh, you...!
- Why did you do that? - I've been waiting all day for that.
All I wanted to do is... give you this.
I hope you like it.
Read it.
"For our girl, from me and Number Nine."
- Like it? - Oh, Alex.
I love it.
Hold me in your arms
Tonight was meant to be
Hold me in your arms
Thrill me with your charms
Your lips were meant for me
Never let me go
Suddenly I know
I've never loved before
With every kiss my head is spinning
This is the moment I've waited for
Tonight is only the beginning
Hold me in your arms for evermore
Hold me in your arms
Tonight was meant to be
Hold me in your arms
Thrill me with your charms
Your lips were meant for me
Never let me go
Suddenly I know
I've never loved before
With every kiss, my head is spinning
This is the moment I've waited for
Tonight is only the beginning
Hold me in your arms
For evermore
- You've got a class at three. You coming? - I got a half-hour yet.
- I'm waiting for Barney Sloan. - Who?
A piano player, he's gonna help arrange this.
If you stole from the right composers you wouldn't need an arranger.
- When's he due? - Right now.
Might not get here for a week, might not get here at all.
I thought only trombone players drank.
Barney doesn't drink, he's a little unpredictable.
That's an ideal collaboration - unpredictable scorer, unpredictable arranger.
- Well, I'll see you at the foundation. - Yeah.
I got it.
Hi.
Come in, come in.
- Glad to see you. - Uh-huh.
Did you have a tough time finding the place?
Uh-uh.
Figures. Rug on the floor, piano,
the smell of cooking from the kitchen.
Homes like these are the backbone of the nation.
- Where's the spinning wheel? - Shut up. Did you miss the train?
- I ignored the train. - Why? I sent you the fare.
Five bucks, I bet it on a horse.
A horse I could've bought for seven.
Had a lovely name that I can't remember.
You're late, Barney. If I don't get out of here, I'll be late.
I got a class at the foundation, three to four.
Oh, incidentally, I got you that job we talked about.
- Attractive surroundings, I'm sure. - It's a joint but it's convenient.
Downtown. You'll play piano and you'll sing. Salary's small.
- Tips on the plate? - Tips on the plate.
Every little bit helps.
Yeah.
It's no better, no worse than the job you had in New York.
Different class of people maybe.
Yeah.
Suburban drunks. They don't listen either.
When I get back tonight we'll work out a room.
Plenty of boarding houses around.
Meanwhile...
Your music must be lousy.
- You wouldn't be here if it were. - You're too efficient.
Start wherever you want. I've got some of the overture and four of the songs.
You print nice. Real neat.
Barney, I gotta take off. If there's anything you need, there's a woman in the kitchen,
name's Aunt Jessie.
- I know the type. - So long!
See ya.
For all I know you might be a burglar
with designs on the piano.
Alex told me to introduce myself. Name's Barney Sloan.
You must be Aunt... something.
- Jessie. - Yeah, Jessie.
Name fits right in with the curtains and the lamp.
Very domestic.
My name came first, curtains came after.
What type of aunt are you?
Gruff voice hiding a soft heart type,
or the sweet, simple, "Snakes alive, I smell something burning in the kitchen" type?
Alex should have prepared me for you.
- Would you like a cup of tea? - Sure.
If I threw in a couple of cakes, would you object?
How could you know I haven't eaten since yesterday?
I'm the near-sighted, you can't hide a thing from me type of aunt.
I see.
Well, you needn't look so noble. Tea is just a little hot water.
I'll put the kettle on. I'll let you know what I think about you later.
- Hi! - Hi. Home early.
- Did you get everything? - I think so.
Good.
- Got a surprise for you. - Really?
- Mmm. - I could use one right about now.
It was so packed in that market I didn't think I'd ever get waited on.
- What's that? - The surprise.
- Who? - Friend of Alex's,
I'm making him tea, just a little hot water.
- That's one of Alex's songs, isn't it? - Mm-hm.
Hmm... I like what he's doing with it.
Hey - get set, you're in for something.
Sounds wonderful.
You a friend of Alex's?
We know each other. I orchestrate his stuff.
Oh.
My name is Laurie.
I, um...
live here.
You got a cigarette?
Mm-hm.
You scared it.
Keep playing.
Now I know why they gave me this box of matches when I bought that thing.
Stubborn, aren't I?
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
- Is that one of Alex's? - Something of my own.
It's lovely.
Stinks.
You can feel that way if you want to.
I like it.
That all there is to it?
It's only got a middle.
It's only got... You mean there's no beginning and no end?
Just a middle.
You're going to finish it sometime, aren't you?
Do you think it's right to leave a song hanging in midair like that?
No face and no feet?
Why not?
Well...
If you finished it, people might get to like it.
You could even have a hit.
They wouldn't let me.
Who?
They. Or whoever it is that gives out the breaks.
What's your name for it? Lady Luck? The Fates? Destiny?
Oh.
They've been having their innings for as long as I can remember.
You know what a glove man is?
I'm a glove man.
You shag flies in a hot sun all your life but you never go to bat.
Like, right off they said, "No parents? Make him an offer, he'll be all right."
"Education? Grammar school's enough.
"Send him out to work."
So I cooperate.
And then they come up with a nice big depression, a fat one.
But I fooled them, I went out and got a job. Six years later.
14 dollars a week, I collected exactly two pay cheques
and then they come up with a war.
"Greetings, my boy. You too can be a private."
Don't laugh, it was serious.
This was my big chance. I was ready to be a hero, a dead one even.
You know, lots of crowds, bands playing, me in a flag-draped coffin.
Ha! Did I get it?
No.
All they figured for me was a little grape juice in the leg.
Not quite enough to be a hero.
Lots of guys got shot so it'd just hurt a little bit.
Eight or nine years later, your leg gets a little stiff when it rains.
That's my good leg, my pedal foot, that I play the piano with.
There's more. You wanna hear more?
Yes. Yes, I do.
If you tell the whole story.
What about the talent they gave you?
Sure.
Sure, they said, "Let him have a little talent.
"Not enough to do anything great on his own but just enough to help other people.
"That's what he deserves."
Mix a little talent with the rest of that stuff and you get stumblebum Barney Sloan.
- Barney Sloan... - Mm-hm.
That's my new name.
One I was born with was a little more Italian.
I changed it. Figured I'd throw 'em off the track.
Not those babies.
You know you're taking the easiest way out.
- How do you figure? - Anybody can feel sorry for himself.
Who asked you to listen?
If it makes you feel better to be insulting, you just go right ahead.
I believe a man decides his own destinies. If he has enough courage and ambition...
Bite?
No, thank you.
Maybe it isn't my business, I don't know.
But if you go to work and finish that song, or any song for that matter...
They wouldn't like it. I tell you, they're up there working overtime on me.
What some people will do for time and a half...
I can see this is very painful for you. Shall we talk about something else?
Why? Talking about my lousy luck is the only fun I ever have.
- Here's tea! - Oh, Aunt Jessie,
can you do something for him?
Sure. Get a net and send for the wagon.
Were you smiling just then?
I don't know. Was I?
- Do me a favour, will you? - What?
Throw back your head and laugh.
Hilariously.
- Why? - No reason.
Just laugh.
Ha. Heh-heh.
- I knew it. - Knew what?
You don't know how to laugh.
I see what I'm up against - the gay young thing type.
Unimportant species.
It's not the quality of your laughter, it's your attitude.
Attitude?
I asked him to laugh and he wants to know why he should.
As if somebody has to have a reason to laugh.
- You don't think so? - No.
- Do you? - No.
There's a place for people like you who go around laughing for no reason at all.
- Do you want lemon or cream in your tea? - Neither.
Don't be so contrary, you've got to have one or the other. You'll have lemon.
There.
Please, Aunt Jessie, don't be hard-boiled, it doesn't come off.
I'm gonna have some tea and figure this character out.
Wait till he has something to eat. Maybe he'll be a little less vicious.
I'm not too happy with the lyric yet but I like it musically.
I'm anxious to see what you can do with it.
When did you come up with this one?
Just finished it about an hour ago.
Hey, boy, you workin' or playin'?
Assistant manager, you know the type. "Come on now, everybody get on the ball."
Don't be a wise guy, Sloan.
- What was that? - You're supposed to be working.
W-O-R-K-l-N-G.
That's very good. Keep that up and you'll be manager.
So you don't like it here? Suppose you pack up your...
Say, aren't you Lettie Bartell's father?
- That's right. You know Lettie? - I went to school with her. I'm Laurie Tuttle.
Oh, say, sure! She talks about you all the time. Still does, in her letters.
- This is my sister, Amy. - How do you do?
- Mr Burke. - Hi.
- How is Lettie? - Married with two children.
She's happy as a lark, living in Chicago.
- Say hello when you write to her. - That I will.
- How come I never seen you here before? - We came to hear Mr Sloan.
We'll be coming in quite often, as a matter of fact.
I hope you do, and I mean it.
You ready, Mr Sloan?
Any time, Mr Bartell. Any time at all.
Thank you. Well, enjoy yourselves, folks.
- Glad to have you aboard. - Nice to see you.
I like that Bartell. Nice guy.
Two martinis and two vodka gimlets.
- Why don't they keep quiet? - Don't worry, Barney's used to it.
There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that she
Turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
- I know... - Why not, baby? Why not?
Give me just one good reason why.
Buy me a drink.
Waiter!
...over me
Although I may not
Be the man some girls think of
As handsome
But to her heart
I'll carry the key
Won't you tell her, please, to put on some speed
Follow my lead
Oooh, how I need
Someone to watch
Over me
Nope, it's not fair.
You've improved an awful lot in one week, Mr Sloan.
- How's that? Better? - You got me grinning like an idiot.
Good, you noticed the resemblance.
Say, you weren't by chance sneaking around my room yesterday while I was out?
Was I? I try not to leave fingerprints.
It's a fine thing. The minute a fella's back is turned, you hang up curtains.
Next time I'm putting flowerpots in.
- No flowers. - Why not?
Well, they use up the oxygen.
Give me trouble and I'll be up there with a lace pillowcase.
- Lace? - Lace.
You may object to living like a human being, Mr Sloan, but you're gonna sleep like one.
My landlady has instructions to shoot...
When I'm finished with the room I'm starting on you.
Look at yourself.
What's the matter with me?
What did you cut your hair with? A lawn mower?
A penknife.
And look at your ties, always at half-mast.
Say, would you help me a minute, please?
Just hold that open.
There's something that you should know about the state of Connecticut.
What's that?
A crease in the pants is strictly constitutional.
It is!
Look, it's Pop's birthday, Barney.
I think a pair of pressed pants would be just the right note for tonight's party.
- I'll think about it. - OK.
By the way, while I'm downtown, um...
maybe you could do a little work for yourself, huh?
- Like what? - Oh, finishing your song.
Forget about that song.
Think what a kick in the pants it'd be to them, your destinies,
if you came up with a big hit, huh?
What good's a hit song?
Here we go again.
Yeah, it gets your picture in Life, and maybe get a new suit, a lot of hullabaloo,
then one day I'm walking along and down comes a bolt of lightning.
Pow! D-E-D, dead.
Do you know that you're impossible?
Six to an even that's the way I leave the world - lightning. Bet?
All I know is that there's a straitjacket waiting for you with your number on it.
Like the spoon.
Uh...
I don't want you to think that that's spur of the moment stuff.
I planned it for a week.
It's pretty mild for a week's thought, isn't it?
It's just a friendly kiss.
Oh.
We're going to be good friends, aren't we, Barney?
Yes, sure.
I'll work at it.
We're gonna be such good friends
that we won't even have to swap presents at Christmas.
Practical idea.
- Well, I... - I know, you've gotta rush downtown.
Yeah.
See you later.
Don't forget the birthday pants.
It's constitutional.
Read all about it!
- You know what a parasite is? - What?
Someone who doesn't do their share of pushing revolving doors.
I pushed.
Take one of these, will you? For appearance's sake.
Why should I have a man around if I can't use him?
- Glad you bumped into me, huh? - I planned it that way.
- OK, where's the car? - Across the street in the lot.
- Laurie... - Hmm?
I love you.
Laurie.
You came out for one present, you said, for your father.
Alex, come see these pedal pushers, they're adorable.
Yeah.
Laurie.
Only 8.95 too, that's very cheap.
Pedal pushers for your father? He won't look good in 'em.
- Silly. - Didn't hear me before, did you?
You said something?
Yeah, I said I loved you, Laurie.
- Oh. Wanna chase it? - Not today.
I've been trying to tell you something for the last five minutes but you won't listen.
I love you, Laurie.
Yeah.
- Since when? - Since the first moment I saw you.
It's tough for a guy to be original when he's in love.
- Well? - Got your ticket?
Oh. Yeah.
I'll get your car.
That was in the nature of a proposal
and I expect something in the nature of an answer.
- You know how I feel. - How?
I adore you.
That's a good start. We'll be married next week, huh?
- Alex, we can't get married next week. - Why not?
Why can't we keep things as they are? We have so much fun and laughs.
We can be married and have laughs.
- There have been cases. - Have there?
Look, Laurie, get this through your head - I love you and I need you.
Do you?
Of course I do. Even if I didn't need you, you need me to carry your bundles.
You know, I hadn't thought of that.
There's something else you should know about me.
- I always laugh at the wrong time. - I know. I heard you.
I'll probably laugh all through the ceremony.
- What do you think I'll be doing? - Crazy.
But it might be fun.
You mean that?
Mm-hm.
Good.
Stay there.
Could you hold these a minute, please? Thank you.
Now...
Alberto, give-a the package-a back to the man. We gotta go home, it's late.
I cannot-a give him-a back the package. Don't you see he is busy?
What do you mean, he's busy? He's kissing her.
That's-a busy, no? And he's doing a good job too.
- Well, we made it. - I think.
Got you home safe and sound, didn't I?
All the fenders are still on. Pretty good, isn't it?
Very good. Could you help an old friend here?
Thank you.
I never really wanted to marry anyone, not for a while.
I'm not just anyone, I'm an engaging personality. Let's tell the family.
Don't take the edge off the birthday party.
Let Pop have his moment, then we'll spring it.
OK.
We have lots to do before Pop comes home.
Yeah, we got lots to do.
Hey, Pop's doing all right. Lot of loot here.
- I could use one of these. - It's a real honey.
Break it up, boys, here they come.
For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow
Which nobody can deny
Which nobody can deny...
Happy birthday!
Look at that!
Oh, look at this!
W-W-W... What do I say?
Say the same thing I did when I saw it - what is it?
It's a sound system, Jessie! Don't you know?
- Music all over the house! - Coming out of the walls.
- High fidelity! - We all chipped in, Pop.
Oh, that tuner! The amplifier! And look at that speaker. Three way!
It goes to 20,000 cycles. You'll be able to hear those triangles now.
Sure, you're gonna be a real hep cat.
Hip. The word is "hip", Bob. Only cubes say hep.
Wait a minute.
- Who's going to assemble this? - Ernie!
- Well, of course, Ernie. - Come on, Ernie.
Well, I guess I can handle it.
That's all high fidelity needs - a good plumber.
And for when Ernie gets it glued together.
Immolation scene the soprano will love.
Wait till you hear the flames licking her torso.
- That's not all, Dad. Here's some more. - Handmade? Amy, you're a love.
Genuine cashmere.
Also handmade. Smoking jacket.
- Made from the sunroom curtains. - Oh, Jessie!
- I happened to pass Tiffany's in New York. - Tiffany's?
- Oh, Bob, that's too extravagant. - It's a beauty.
It's Swiss, Pop. Instead of chimes, it... yodels.
- There's something else. - What's this?
- Barney! - Uh?
You shouldn't have. It's very kind.
But I...
Try it on for size, Pop.
- Real sharp, huh? - It looks wonderful on you.
Happy birthday, Dad.
- Laurie, I... - I got it for you.
You don't mind, do you?
No. Thank you.
I guess that puts me in the same class with Robert J Neary.
I know his kind like a book.
He's the "I sold newspapers as a kid but look at me now" type.
- I have your type catalogued too, you know. - Bet.
At a party you're the guy who always says,
"I never had a birthday party or ever got a present."
- Right? - I pay.
So, rather than let you be corny...
From me to you.
With initials too.
Hey, these are good links.
Of course, I do my shoplifting at the finest stores.
All right, clear the decks! Here comes the main event.
- Watch yourself. - Oh, man! That's a real beaut.
One candle? Now that's touching.
We're bribing you to stay young, Pop.
Oh, I'll accept the bribe but there's no reason for it.
- Look at that cake! - Did you bake it, Aunt Jessie?
- No, Fran did. - In that case, I can't live without her.
We'll elope tonight, huh?
It's a date.
- Sure? - Sure.
- Get those plates over here! - Here we are.
Right, Pop, go to work.
Hurray!
All right. Every year on my birthday I get sentimental and make a long speech
but this year I'm going to be brief
because I have more to be happy about than ever before.
Oh, it's a perfectly beautiful speech.
Cut the cake.
- OK. - Nice big piece for me.
You get the first one.
How about telling him now, huh?
- Do you think so? - Sure, why not?
There a lull and, er...
I forgot to, er... show you this.
Alex, it's beautiful!
Quiet, everyone! Hold it down to a dull roar, we have a commercial.
Alex and I are going to be married.
Married?
Uh-huh.
- How wonderful, Laurie. - How about that!
It's great. Sensational!
I surprised you, huh? I'm marrying the wrong girl.
Have you set a date? As soon as my laundry gets back.
It's been quite a day, hasn't it, Laurie? First Pop, then you.
How about some coffee with this cake? You haven't forgotten?
- It should be perking now. - Let me help.
Amy, this marriage business isn't contagious, is it?
- Let her get the coffee. - That's a good idea.
Let's see it under the light.
- I'm not sure if my daughter should marry... - Oh... Isn't it?
- ...a composer who doesn't do arranging. - Yes, it is.
You know, Laurie? I think I'll beat you to the altar.
Fran!
Bob? You still want me to be a June bride?
Sure.
What did you say? Hey, Fran, you mean it?
- Hold this. - Bring on marriage!
Hey, what's gotten into my family?
- I don't know what to say. - Why say anything?
I propose a toast. A toast! Come on, everyone.
- Let's make it to all of us. - Punch for everybody.
If you put your head on my shoulder they wouldn't hear you crying so loud.
I can't help it, Aunt Jessie.
- Someone else will come along. - Oh, no, you're wrong.
They will. In about six months, that's the usual time.
Don't contradict me. I know about these things, being a spinster.
Aunt Jessie?
I have wonderful news. Bob and Franny...
- Amy? What's the matter, Amy? - Nothing, nothing.
Why are you crying?
Amy can't get used to losing the baby of the family any more than I can.
Oh, you mustn't feel like this.
I'm not going away. Nothing will really change.
- I know, it's just... - Amy...
we're all going to get married sooner or later.
We are.
We'll have housefuls of kids running all over the place.
Little violin players, little piano players.
Now, Amy, you like Alex, don't you?
Of course she does, we all do.
What is this, a taffy pull? Come help me with the coffee.
- She's right, I'm just being sensitive... - Are you sure it isn't Alex?
What I mean is, you never did seem to take to him like the rest of us.
Honest, Amy, he's so sweet and he's so much fun.
I... I know you'll learn to love him.
Laurie, stop that gab-gab-gabbing.
We need to get coffee to those people or no one's going to love anyone.
- Come on, darling. - Amy, get those cups over there.
Laurie, you pour. No, let me do it. At least there's one steady hand in this family.
Oh, dear. Oh...
Let them come in and dunk it.
Your coffee, Barney.
It was just one of those things
Just one of those crazy flings
One of those bells
That now and then rings
Just one of those things
It was just one of those nights
Just one of those fabulous flights
A trip to the moon on gossamer wings
Yes, it was one of those things
If we thought a bit about the end of it
When we started painting that town
We'd have been aware
That our love affair was too hot
Not to cool down
So goodbye, goodbye, bye-bye, goodbye baby and amen
Here's hoping we meet now and then
It was great fun
But it was just one of those things
What are you doing here?
I could ask you the same question.
And some more besides.
Why haven't you been around lately?
Is our piano out of tune or something?
No, the pitch is fine.
I guess I just don't have a beat for The Wedding March.
Oh. Is that why you didn't show up at Franny's wedding?
Well, I figured Alex can handle that.
Today he'll probably play his own march and say "I do" at the same time.
I, er...
Just waiting around. A guy owes me some bucks.
I don't feel like walking to New York.
Barney, why are you going to New York?
Just because I'm getting m...
It's still no reason why I have to stop trying to make a human being out of you.
Hey.
I brought chintz curtains into your life, remember?
- I'm not going to... - Why do you have to look so beautiful?
Who, me?
You're getting married in an hour.
Another dream shot.
If that wasn't enough you come in here looking like a convention of angels.
Why does the sunlight have to hit you just right?
If your nose was shiny or your eyes were dull -
anything to make it easier.
But look at you.
Well, a girl can't get married without a permanent, can't she?
It wouldn't be legal.
Nice going, honey.
Congratulations.
They take a guy out of the cold, introduce him to a family of real people -
Auntie Jessie, the old man -
and then they throw a girl named Laurie in his path.
After she gets a hammer lock on his heart they kick him out in the street.
New lease on the gutter.
Barney, listen to me.
No. You listen to me.
You've been telling me all along it's my fault, that I didn't put up a battle.
Well, now I'm full of fight.
I love you, Laurie.
I love you. Understand? Nobody gets you.
Barney, please.
Yes...
Your theory's all cockeyed, baby.
You got the judges and the referee and I accept the verdict.
What's more, I'll attend the wedding.
My smile will be as brave as Amy's.
Why Amy?
Don't tell me you don't know that she's got it real bad for Alex.
- What are you talking about? - Just what I said.
When you're on the outside looking in you can see things other people can't.
- What do you mean? - The night of the wedding announcement.
Poor Amy, her face was white as a sheet.
- She ran out of the room... - That's not why...
She came back in and her eyes were red from crying and I knew why.
- Cos I understand all the Amys of the world. - But I know why she was crying.
It was because I was getting married.
- Amy and I have always been close and... - Sure, sure.
Barney, I don't believe you.
- You're trying to frighten me. - Look... Go home, get married.
- People are waiting. - You're lying!
Sure.
That's as good a word as any.
Now, why don't you go, I have an important business appointment.
Go home.
Amy? Amy?
In here.
Oh. Do me a favour, will you?
Thanks.
I would if I could, but I can't.
My fingers are like jelly. Feel them.
- Oh, they're cold. - Yeah.
So are yours.
You know, some guys can tie knots, some guys can't.
Me, I can't tie anything.
I know.
- Hey, come on. - Now just hold still.
Hey, that's a steal from something.
If it is it's a good one.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- Leave me some air to say "I do". - I'm sorry.
- There, I think I made it. - Thanks.
- How about me? Any price tags showing? - Uh-uh.
Striped trousers. Symbolic, eh?
- How do I look? - You look very nice.
Thanks.
You're my love. I'll see you.
I'll see you.
I understand that things like this...
Pardon me, Reverend. What time have you?
- 3:12. - I have 3:08.
- Gregory, what time have you? - Huh?
Oh. Er... 3:15.
- Excuse me. - Yes.
Pardon me.
- Are we gonna have ice cream? - Sure, they always have it at weddings.
- Have many weddings have you been to? - Hundreds.
- What do you think happened? - She's probably out walking.
All girls get wedding day nerves. Didn't I take a walk?
But Laurie - what possessed her?
- It'll take 15 minutes to dress her. - I know, I know.
- Pop, what time did you say you had? - Er...
I told you. 3:15, Bob.
- I wonder what the kitchen clock says. - It says stop acting like a pompous idiot.
I'm sorry.
I say we break out the champagne right now.
My first wedding day, I could use some muscle tone.
That's probably Laurie now.
Never mind, Amy, I'll get it.
- Sign here. - Aha, the wire we've been waiting for.
Humperdinck Appliance Company.
"You can't stay married without a deep freeze.
- "Our sale starts Monday. Easy terms." - Yeah.
- It's for you, Amy. - For me?
- It's from Laurie! - Laurie?
- Is something wrong? - What happened?
- Pop... - What is it?
Amy, what is it?
She's married! Barney Sloan.
"Break the news to Alex. Make him understand this is for the best.
"I found out just in time to avoid making a terrible mistake.
"Barney and I will be married by the time this reaches you. Alex will understand..."
Sorry, son.
What are we going to do?
Pop?
Well, don't just stand there, do something.
I can't go out and face all those people.
Somebody has to tell them.
I'll take care of it.
I'm sorry, Reverend Johnson, but the family wanted me to speak for them,
to you and to their friends.
"Break the news to Alex. Make him understand this is for the best.
"I found out just in time..."
This quiet hurts my ears.
I've only one in my orchestra now, Jess.
You'll soon have the whole family home for Christmas.
I'm just writing jokes to Laurie about it.
Well, let's take it from the top, Amy.
But play loud, will you? All I ask is a little noise.
I guess there's no point in asking how it's coming, is there?
No, not much.
- It's my turn now. - What does that mean?
I need your comfort.
I burned the stew.
Can't you salvage any of it? Make a vegetable soup?
The vegetables... disappeared.
No matter. We'll get a decent meal at your father's on Christmas.
I guess that's why I burned the stew.
I was reading Aunt Jessie's letter over again.
It gets better every time.
Yeah.
Come on, I'll walk you to work.
- We'll eat on Joe again. - Sure. Cold spaghetti and warm beer.
Sometimes it's warm beer and cold spaghetti.
- He's fickle, that's all. - But the music is great.
Oh, that's ripped. Take it off and I'll fix it.
There's a fella named Sloan playing the piano there. Ever heard of him?
Yeah, I heard of him.
He's fair.
What's that?
Ever been to South America?
No.
Well, we nearly got there.
- When? - Yesterday.
- You didn't tell me. - I know.
It was a good idea. Some of the guys were going to put a combination together
and go down there. Some place, any place.
What happened?
It takes money, sweetie, everything takes money.
300 bucks, one way, for two.
In the old days you could've gone, couldn't you?
What are you saying?
Two can't stow away as cheap as one.
Forget it, I got an idea.
- Why South America, Barney? - Forget it!
They've gone, they got a piano player.
Besides it's summer down there now. It's hot and it's green.
They got tropical storms.
Maybe I just wanted to give South America's lightning a shot at me.
- It's only fair. - Please, not that again.
Oh, where's your sense of humour?
I'm sorry, honey.
I was only kidding.
That for South America.
You haven't asked me what my idea is.
- Laurie? - Hm?
You know how they say it in the songs, don't you? "You'll never know how much"?
How about you after all these months?
You know how much.
Crazy, mixed up character.
- It's only four months too. - Five.
And you still love me?
That's nice.
I don't know though, maybe you're the one that's crazy.
- You said you had an idea. - Yeah.
I was thinking we ought to live it up a little tonight.
- Go out for a fancy dinner, Chinese maybe. - Sounds very good.
- What are we...? - I got that figured out too.
How much did we pay for the piano?
- Oh... - How much?
- You know as well as I do it was $100. - Good.
Good, we can sell it back to this character for 75, he can make himself $25.
I'll starve first. You're going to finish that song and on this piano.
And a million more besides.
I proved something, I finished three songs, and on this piano.
- Yes, and two were published. - And both of them died.
I'm no Alex Burke.
No, you've got more talent than Alex.
- Have I? - Yes, you have.
So how come he eats while he works? We need eating money.
- We'll get it too. - How?
I don't know how but we'll get it.
Well, if we can't hock the piano, is there anything else you have in mind?
No, there's nothing else.
Yes, there is.
- What? - That. The bracelet. His bracelet.
Sure, why not?
Unless you never got him out of your system.
As long as that's on your wrist he's living with us. Maybe you want that.
Well, hock it!
I'm sick and tired of hearing about Alex Burke and his success. Get rid of it.
The funniest thing you've ever seen!
After the third round, I asked Maxy if he wanted to triple his bet -
- you should've see his face! - It's quarter to three
There's no one in the place 'cept you and me
So set 'em up, Joe
I got a little story you ought to know
We're drinking, my friend
To the end of a brief episode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I got the routine
Put another nickel in the machine
I'm feeling so bad
Won't you make the music easy and sad
I could tell you a lot
But you've got to be true to your code
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You'd never know it but, buddy, I'm a kind of poet
And I got a lot of things to say
And when I'm gloomy
You simply gotta listen to me
Till it's all talked away
Well, that's how it goes
- And Joe I know you're getting... - Good evening, Mrs Sloan.
- ...anxious to close - Table down there.
So thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind my bending your ear
But this torch that I found must be drowned
Or it soon might explode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
The long
That long road
- Nice of you to pick us up, Ernie. - Orders. Amy's orders.
- Amy still bossing you around, Ern? - And it'll get worse after we're married.
- You and Amy? - You bet. Soon too.
Come on.
Stick close, honey, I'm going to need you.
Laurie...
I almost forgot this.
Don't ask me how I got it. It might be embarrassing.
Yes? Laurie!
Darling, good to see you.
Hello, Barney, I'm awfully glad you could make it.
Aunt Jessie!
Oh, you look so wonderful. Doesn't she, Barney?
- Hello, Barney. Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
- Come in, you must be frozen. - Hey, Laurie, I'm waiting for a hug!
Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
- Oh, the tree is beautiful. - You really like it? I'm so glad.
- How did you do it without me? - It was kinda hard, but we managed.
Honey, it's so good to see you.
Number Nine!
Oh, that's a good boy. You're such a sweet doggy, I missed you so much.
- Hey, you're getting fat. Isn't he? - He's been eating regularly.
Oh, I love you.
Hiya, Tuttle.
Hiya, Burke.
- Alex, come and join the party. - Stop making like a big composer.
- How's he been since the show, Pop? - He wears his royalty cheques on his lapel!
I haven't collected a penny! We're still in Philadelphia.
- You know, art, the theatre. - He's a big hit, Laurie.
- We need to make it in New York. - And all those critics.
Don't say that! They'll love it.
Merry Christmas, Barney.
Same to you. And congratulations, I read your Philly notices.
- Your orchestrating helped a lot. - You helped cover up what he stole!
You'll feel better after your dinner. Oh, there's a bird in the oven.
Attagirl, Aunt Jessie, keep it practical.
Wait a minute, Amy. Why waste good mistletoe?
Attaboy, Ernie! Come up for air!
Go man, go. That gives me an idea.
Come on, sweetheart.
- Oh, come on, Fran. - Pop? I've waited a long time for this.
Move over.
- Oh! - Tuttle, the Latin lover.
- Dinner! - Aww.
Hold it, hold it. We don't need any mistletoe, do we?
- No. - OK, shoulders back, chin up.
- Ready? - Yes.
- Well, thank you. Let's go to dinner. - Oh, turkey!
- This is the second act ballad. - What a good dinner...
- Shhh! - Oh, sorry, Alex, but it was good.
You're right, it was. Would you sing, Laurie?
- Sure. - I want to go on record,
before the critics tear us apart - I like it.
- OK? - OK.
So what, it's raining
It won't help complaining
The fundamental rules of nature still apply
Look up at the sky
There's a rising moon
For every falling star
Makes no difference
Just how sad or blue you are
One never knows about tomorrow
Just what another day may bring
One moment in your heart it's winter
Comes a rose and suddenly it's spring
There'll be times of sorrow
There'll be times of joy
And a bright tomorrow
For each girl and boy
Who knows what happiness is made
Just a kiss away from where you are
There's a rising moon
For every falling star
- Wonderful, Alex! - Very nice piece.
- Play it again! - I'd like to but I'd miss my train.
- Oh, that's a shame. - I was lucky to get Christmas Eve off
but the actors are working. Aunt Jessie.
- There was a show tonight? - And tomorrow. We won't get an audience.
In Philadelphia, anything can happen.
- I'll get your coat. - Thanks.
- Ernie, get Alex's bags. - Yeah, hop to it, now.
I heard of henpecked husbands, but fianc�s?
Can't you miss your train?
No one will believe you're a real composer if you show up at every rehearsal.
- Can I help it if I like good music? - Good music? Let's send him away happy.
- Thanks. - I think this is yours.
If it doesn't fit, it's mine.
Whoever said "out of sight, out of mind" was a liar.
Alex, I haven't had a chance to talk to you all evening.
- There's something I'd like to explain. - You don't have to explain anything.
All I want to know is... are you happy, Laurie?
I love him very much.
You still haven't answered me.
Alex, I put something in your pocket.
I guess that answers my question.
You know something? Marriage certainly agrees with you.
For a wife you're darned pretty.
- For a mother I'm darned pretty. - Mother?
- I'm going to have a baby, Alex. - No!
- Yes. - Oh, that's wonderful news.
I'm glad. For you.
It was a tough fight, Ma, but we lost.
I might also add, we was robbed.
- I better congratulate Barney. - Oh, no. No, don't. He doesn't know yet.
- What? - I found out myself yesterday.
I'm saving the announcement for midnight. It's my Christmas present to him.
- It's better than cuff links, don't you think? - Yeah.
I don't know what Barney will give you back, but it'll never match it.
Or you.
Well...
I guess you better hurry, huh?
Yeah, I guess I'd better.
So long, Burke.
So long... Sloan.
- Well, just in time. - All set to go, Alex?
- Yeah. - I'll drive you to the station. It's no trouble.
Would you drop me at the drugstore to get some cigarettes?
Well, Jessie, here we go again.
Can I drive Alex to the station? Some private stuff we need to discuss.
Fine with me. I'll get you your cigarettes and some cigars for myself.
- You can pick me up on the way back. - Goodbye!
Let's go, we haven't got much time.
- Goodbye, Alex! - Goodbye!
- Get in, Alex. - Let's go.
I asked Bob to let me drive you to the station because I...
I wanted to say sorry for messing things up.
- It's ancient history. Forget it. - Busting things up. That's my speed.
One saving grace though. I always wind up at the bottom of the pile.
How have things been going for you?
- Not too bad. - Working?
Yeah, here and there.
- Everything's all right, then. - Why not?
Oh, I ran into Jake last week -
he was on his way to South America and we got to talking about you.
- He said... - Jake's a bigger liar than I am.
- Do me a favour, Barney? - Ha. How much do you need?
I've been lucky lately. Let me lend you some, tide you over.
If you ever get tired of being a nice guy, Alex... It would bore me stiff.
- No, I can't take it, Alex. - Why not?
Who knows? Maybe it's because I'm a new man.
Or so they tell me. The old Barney would've taken it.
The old Barney was no dope.
- Porter? - Yes, sir?
Thanks for the lift, Barney. And Merry Christmas.
- 'Board! - Oh, Barney...
- Here. - Wait a minute...
For Laurie. Use it, any way you think will make her happy.
Merry Christmas, Barney.
Yeah. Merry Christmas.
Oh, I think it's wonderful, Amy.
- Have you set the date, yet? - No.
- Pretty soon, I hope. - That's nice.
Isn't it funny how everything's worked out? One short year.
Remember last Christmas?
You weren't married, Fran wasn't married and Alex...
- Go ahead. - You don't mind if I talk about him?
Of course not.
You know, you won't believe this, but...
I thought I was in love with Alex.
- Really? - Well, I guess we all did.
Then your telegram came and we all fell apart.
Everybody except Ernie. I'll never forget the way he took hold.
He was so calm and dignified.
I guess that's when it all started.
- You and the romantic plumber? - Yes.
You know, Laurie, it's funny how you can be around somebody
and not know how much they mean to you.
You and Barney for instance.
You couldn't have known how much you loved him when you first married him.
I know now.
Amy, I love him so much and yet I can't convince him that I do. Really.
But you married him. Doesn't that prove that you love him?
It doesn't. He thinks he's a failure and nobody wants him.
He stays in the outside, Amy. I can't bring him close.
Oh, darling. Everything's going to be all right.
You just know that it is. With the baby and all?
Now, could you imagine Barney as a father?
- No. - Everything's going to be wonderful.
I hope so.
Oh, no!
It's Bob. He's had an accident.
Will you be quiet a minute, please?
St Joseph's Hospital. Right... Yes?
I'll bring his wife with me.
- Is he badly hurt? - Yes, Fran, I'm sorry.
- The car's outside. - Amy, Laurie, get the coats.
Pop. Oh, Pop.
Put this around you, Jess.
Poor Bob, I... I never made him happy.
- I didn't even try. - Fran, you mustn't say that.
He's always been... so kind, so generous.
- I never showed any appreciation. - You can make it up to him. He'll be OK.
- But suppose he's... Suppose he... - Franny, please.
Fran...
It isn't Bob.
Laurie...
It's Barney.
He was driving Bob's car.
Barney... Barney.
- Laurie... - Yes, darling?
They wouldn't even let me go out in style.
Have you got a cigarette?
Yes.
You're going to be fine.
Only lightning can get you.
You gave me your word, remember?
Lightning can be manufactured, you know.
- He needs rest now. - Doctor, is he going to be all right?
- Is he? - Please, Mrs Sloan...
No!
Barney, I won't let you quit.
You can't.
Darling, I love you so much and I need you.
Please...
We need you.
Barney... Barney...
We're going to have a baby.
Barney, can you hear me?
I'm going to have a baby.
Barney... Barney, I won't let you give up.
Barney!
Look!
Happy Easter, Lightning.
My love
Is ever you, my love
Now and forever you, my love
You walked into my lonely world
What peace of mind your smile unfurled
Yes, and because of you, my love
My wishful dreams came true, my love
In my uncertain heart
I am only certain of
How much I love you
My love
It's got a face and feet now. How do you like it?
It's just wonderful.
Come on in and join the family.
Yes, and because of you, my love
My wishful dreams came true, my love
In my uncertain heart
I am only certain of
How much I love you
My love
- That's what I call real moving. - I'm in love with my wife all over again.
It's beautiful.
- I'm so happy. - Lightnin', congratulate your poppa.
- There you go. - Come over here.
Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you're young at heart
For it's hard, you will find
To be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart
And if you should survive
To a hundred and five
Look at all you'll derive
Out of being alive
And here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart